Hot Tamale!

We interrupt our normal programming (and chicken tamale post) for a Bossy lovefest.
The Hot Tamale Georgia Getz was in St. Louis!
Confession time. I really look forward to reading Bossy's posts and the trip has seemed like a fun time. I could just imagine how much fun it would be~ ROAD TRIP! But and it’s a big butt I'm a total introvert and had totally talked myself out of going to the St. Louis Bossy night. I wanted to go but was jittery about being around a bunch of "real bloggers” and having to explain a bazillion times who I was "Hi Tempered Woman. No, no, I'm just a food blogger." And then I had this really weird dream where I was helping someone else decorate The Chocolate Bar with streamers and stuff (I know, wtf?) and we had 15 minutes before Bossy shows up and I look down and realize I'm still in my pj's. So I try to walk home (I know, wtf?) but it's suddenly one drama after another and there is a whole bridge sequence where I've got to cross but there are security guards (of course I had been drinking, silly question). Suffice it to say, my subconscious was not jiving on the eminent Bossy festivities.

And then something happened to change my mind. Bossy needed somewhere to stay at the last minute. Her planned host had some last minute craziness and I couldn't just leave Bossy out in the cold. So this is what I emailed her:
Consider me your last resort. I'm cheaper than a hotel room but my house is on the market right now so not exactly the posh surroundings befitting you~ more like meager accommodations. Altho I can offer a wireless connection. And 2 needy dogs.
I would honestly love to take care of you~ but it's a far cry from the bed and breakfast you deserve. Altho I do make a damn good cupcake.
And then I waited. And fretted. And freaked out a little inside. What the hell was I doing?!?! Part of me hoped she'd find someone else cause I’d just be a disappointing dorky host but part of me was so excited at the idea of meeting her and hanging out. And then I panicked cause how was I supposed to stay anonymous if I'm all hanging out with Bossy and OH MY GOD WHAT IF SHE FINDS OUT I'M REPUBLICAN?!?!
And then I got this email:
hey, excellent - i'd love to crash there... sorry about the last minute thing...see you soon!


Well of course the bathroom scrubbing commenced and I was too busy freaking out about making the house smell like antiseptic to worry about anything else. The house had a showing from 2-3 the day she was due to arrive. Which gave me exactly one hour to take a shower and try to look presentable before she showed up at 4:00. When Bossy finally arrived I was so unbearably nervous that I think I spoke a million blabbering words in a matter of minutes. Poor Bossy couldn’t get a breath in. I think about it now and she probably pegged me as a raving lunatic.


I was too embarrassed to bring my dorky little Olympus to the shindig since I knew everyone else would be packing heavy artillery. I was not wrong. But I kind of wish I had brought my camera just so I could take a picture of all the huge honkin cameras that were on the table at one time. Instead I will gleefully steal photos from other bloggers that were there.


I stole this photo from her. The night went way too fast. I do not relish meeting new people. I have to do it a lot because we move often and TOBAC is a total social whore. But I must also admit that I’m incredibly picky when it comes to friends. I only have a few because I can’t stand wasting time with people I don’t genuinely enjoy being around. I know, I know, it sounds incredibly snobby but I’ve got to be honest, I don’t meet a lot of people I genuinely like. I can’t stand taking myself or life too seriously, I cuss like a trucker who use to be in the Marines, I say really f*ed up stuff about my kid, dogs and hubby, I’m always embarrassing myself by screwing up what I want to say and I end up saying the most inappropriate things. So I get it, I’m a hard person to take so I know it’s me that makes it hard to find people I can relate to. Well with that said… everyone was unfreaking believably cool. Like I could hang out with these women all the time. They were incredibly beautiful, funny as hell, not a pretentious one in the bunch. Yet they were all interesting amazing women who were doing incredible things with their lives and managing to capture it all in words on their blogs. And did I mention funny? Like hysterical, my stomach still hurts funny.


Picture stolen from her. The only other Republican in the whole bunch. Yes, we did in fact talk about politics, and education, and nerdy stuff. But we also talked about tattoos, breast milk, boxed wine, and funny names. Ya know, to balance things out. Cause we are classy ladies like that.


Picture stolen from her. I totally freaked out when Angela from fluidpudding showed up. I had no idea she was coming and I totally stalk her blog cause she is such an amazing writer. The girl had a handy dandy notebook to catch everything. And now I can't remember the name of some hot musicican/ actor that everybody was drooling about. But Angela will know!


Picture stolen from her. I didn't get a chance to let Raquita know I totally stalk her blog too and enjoy reading about her life and how much I lurve pics of her gorgeous daughters. There were all of these great conversations all going on at the same time. But I kind of liked just catching these really odd sentences when our side was suddenly quiet. The takeaways? Everybody is in love with Barack O'Boyfriend but me and MP. Everybody watches way too much TV. Everybody loves them some mojitoes and Lindeman's Framboise. And Camembert Delice spread on spiced nuts tastes like frosted heaven. MMmmmmm


Yes, Bossy is really that gorgeous in real life. She’s tall and you would totally think she was a model if you saw her just walking down the street. Very laid back and thoughtful. Incredibly gracious. Insert gushing adjectives ad nasaeum here. Some Bossy trivia highlight from the evening: The woman has the longest damn arms known to man. She can take a group photo like nobody's business. But even better. Georgia’s middle name is Tangerine! How great is that?!?!

It was an amazing night of amazing women like her, and her, and her and her and her. Whew! sorry peeps, inside joke

But the best part of the evening was talking my best drinking bud into going out with me- my sister who doesn't have a blog and had to work the next day. Funny thing is~ she's the writer in the family. So I insisted she come and then when we were getting into my car to head out, turns out my car's back seat is so covered in dog hair from the boys that she had to drive. HA! Love ya sis.

Did I mention that I'm selling my house right now? Did I mention that we've sold most of our "stuff" to make moving easier? So don't freak out, but poor Bossy had to sleep here:


I wish she could have stayed another day. I found out her daughter is the same age as mine and you’ll get a chance to see how amazing miniBossy is in the near future. I didn’t really get a chance to hang out much with just her and I could have kept her up all night with yakking. I regret not mentioning about a gazillion things. I didn't get a chance to tell her she should be listening to Martin Sexton and the Stereophics cause they are the best friends for ears evah. I didn't get a chance to tell her how her and her daughter should be upset over the Veronica Mars cancellation and watch the first 2 seasons on DVD over and over again just like me and monkey. I didn't get a chance to compare crazy familiy histories with her. Or show her my artwork from back in the days when I was kinda cool. Most importantly I didn't get a chance to tell her that I think her trip is incredible and I love jumping to all of the sites for the people she meets and getting a chance to read her trip through all of their blogs. It's an amazing thing, don't ya think?

But I knew she was exhausted and didn’t want to impose on her since she’d be up early to do her infamous sneakout in the middle of the God awful early morning. So I made her promise to take a muffin (to be posted tomorrow) before she left and let her get to bed at a decent hour. I totally suck don’t I? I totally should have plopped my fat ass on the bed and kept her up all night and we’d be bonded as sisters forever. Le sigh. But that’s me, they broke the dork mold when I was created. And let's face it, I'm nowhere as cool as her other amazing hosts, so perhaps it turned out for the best. I may have survived the Bossy experience without saying something incredibly innapropriate for once. Maybe. Did I mention the 3 bottles of wine?



Here's hoping that the last leg of the tour is just as amazing as our evening was. And a big smooch to all of the incredible women I met last night. MMwuuaahhh!